Well, it is engagement season. That time of the year (between November and February) where our feeds are flooded with newly engaged people flashing their fancy jewelry and big smiles. It’s an exciting time. It is also super effing scary if you are the one popping the question. I remember the moments before proposing to my wife, I felt my breakfast trying to come up, because I was a big ball of nerves. I had planned the moment for months, toured the location with my sister in-law twice, sent out invites to our surprise engagement party to all our friends, bought decor, hired a photographer – I did the works. I even wrote down what I wanted to say. Everything was planned meticulously.
On the actual day though, the road to the proposal site was closed for cars. Instead, we had to hike from the park to Griffith Observatory, which was like a 30 minute upward trek that required me to puff my inhaler twice. It was packed - like pre-covid Coachella packed - and the spot I wanted to do it had way too many people. When it came down to it, I word vomited what I wanted to say instead of reading the paper I, so carefully, wrote. From the outside looking in, everything went wrong. But truly, it was perfect. In the moment, none of that planning mattered, because I was asking the love of my life to spend forever with me, under the stars (her favorite), just us two (and a few of our close friends), followed by a party with the rest of our community, excited and ready to shower us with love. To be honest, Ipo was so overcome with emotion she actually did vomit.
So whatʻs the point of all this? For one, I just wanted to share my proposal story (like this blog if you want to actually hear the full double proposal Ipo and I had). The other reason was to give you some tips on proposing for the ones who are planning to pop the question. I would like to quickly put a disclaimer that proposals donʻt only have to be with the intent of marriage. You can also ask someone to spend forever with you, without legally binding yourselves. Any declaration of love works and so do these tips.
Tip 1: Plan A Proposal Your Partner Would Actually Like I have to be honest, I found out Ipo was planning on proposing a few months prior to it happening. I was on her computer and I saw that our mutual friend texted her asking what time dance practice was for the flash mob proposal. I have never dialed the phone so fast. I called my best friend Ari and told her, “I donʻt want to know details, I donʻt want you to say anything, but if Ipo is planning to flash mob me and propose I will 100% say no.” I know that sounds ridiculous, but I am truly terrified of that sort of thing and it was without a doubt NOT something I would want for a proposal. Whatever discussion Ari and Ipo had, the flash mob idea was dead and gone and I instead was asked in a very Zabrina way.
I think if you are going to ask someone to marry you, you need to do it in a way that feels like them and that they would actually like. Sometimes we search through sites like Pinterest for ideas of grand romance, but really you should plan something that your other half would actually enjoy. If they are simple and a little shy, maybe a flash mob is not the vibe. Or maybe they are full on romantics who want everyone and anyone to know they are getting married, in which case maybe donʻt keep it simple and instead pull a full on Travis Barker and buy every rose known to man. Whatever you decide to do, it should reflect your partner and you. Let it be an extension of your love.
Tip 2: Donʻt Feel Like You Got To Invite Everyone To It
Iʻll keep this tip short. The proposal is between you and your other half. You really donʻt need every single person you know there to share in that moment (unless that is 100% your vibe). Donʻt feel pressured to include anyone if you donʻt want to. If you are worried about not feeling all the love and excitement for your new relationship status if people arenʻt there to cheer you on, thatʻs what an engagement party is for!
Tip #3: You Donʻt Have To Document It
We live in times where we document every single thing. I am totally a part of that demographic. But, I just want to say this outloud for the ones who maybe feel like they canʻt do this – you donʻt NEED to hire a photographer for your proposal. This goes hand in hand with tip #2, but it is okay to keep it simple. My best friendʻs partner proposed while watching a sunrise with just the two of them. They had a couple of phone photos, but that was it. She took announcement photos later and shared those on the gram, but the actual moment was kept between the two of them. Super sweet and totally an acceptable approach to a proposal. However, if you are someone like me who documents the gum she chewed that day, I have a whole list of photographers who would take amazing photos of your proposal.
Tip #4: Be On The Same Page
The last tip and maybe the most important one…please make sure yʻall are on the same page about getting married. Like, please have had at least two or three conversations about taking that next step before planning a whole ass proposal and then awkwardly having to have that conversation after you are up to your ears with embarrassment (Iʻm talking about those cringe jumbotron moments where the girl runs away in complete and utter shock). Committing legally to one another is a big step, so make sure it is something you both want and are ready for. Additionally, do not feel pressured to pop the question if you yourself are not ready for that commitment. Even if you have been with your person for 10+ years and everyone you know is asking you when is it happening, you still have the ability to make that decision for yourself.
Okay, so those are my tips. And honestly, if all else fails or this feels extremely overwhelming to you, hire a professional (aka hire us)! We have planned so many amazing proposals for couples and it is genuinely one of my favorite things to do. Our most popular proposals are picnic proposals. I love hiding in a bush and being a part of that magic moment. Proposing can be nerve-racking, but it is also an amazing experience (if you are into it) to declare your love for one another.
Once you’ve gotten the magical “yes!”, don’t forget to check out our other blog on savoring your engagment by clicking here!