To elope, or not to elope, that is the question. With this wedding industry boom, it certainly feels like everyone and their best friends are out here getting married, right? Because of this there is a lot more time that will have to go into planning your wedding. You’ll need to lock in a venue and a date earlier and book your vendors further in advance (or opt to enjoy the moment and have a longer engagement). Either way, you’ll make it down the aisle and have a wonderful wedding. But the burning question then becomes, do I want a big wedding, do I want a minimony, or do I want to straight up ditch the madness and elope? This can be hard to determine when you’re under the stress of planning a wedding and eloping starts to look like a very tempting situation. I’m here to help you clarify and ask and help answer the hard hitting questions to truly determine what option is best for you.
Before we start, here is a breakdown of what we consider a wedding, a minimony and an elopement
1. How many people do you need at your wedding vs. how many people do you want at your wedding?
The pandemi had a crazy way of making us all evaluate our lives and look at what was most important. What you WANT vs. what you NEED are two very different things. My partner and I had to take a moment when the gathering restrictions were really tight and think about who we needed to have at our wedding day and what the absolute minimum number of people we could possibly have at our wedding day would look like. Just our parents, siblings, grandparents, and our wedding party, and if we had to cut it down, could we go without our wedding party and just keep our best people? These are all questions to consider when deciding if you want to elope, have a minimony, or have a full wedding. If you’re good with just having the two of you or up to 5 other people in attendance, you can definitely elope. If you need to have up to 30 people there, then you can get away with a minimony. But, if you want more than 30 people there with you for your wedding, then you are looking at a full wedding.
2. Are you a more private couple or are you the party couple with a ton of friends?
If you’re more comfortable with less people around and you’re a couple who appreciates privacy, a smaller wedding, elopement, or minimony might be the best option for you. Your big day doesn’t have to be BIG, it can be meaningfully big, but on a smaller scale. But if you’ve always been known to be the party couple, honestly, I think an elopement or minimony is out of the question for you. If you fall somewhere in between and can live with a smaller guest list, then a minimony might be a good fit. At the end of the day if you’re unhappy thinking about a huge day surrounded by a ton of people, do what is best for you as a couple and will make you happiest.
3. Do you have a large budget and a large guest list or smaller budget with a large guest list? How much are you willing to spend?
Sometimes the most restrictive part of your wedding is what you can actually afford to do. If you want to have a very extravagant wedding but don’t have a lot of money to do so, you will need to cut down your guest list. You can afford nicer things if you’re not spending it on a ton of people. If you have a large budget, you have the freedom to do a bit more (large budget is also relevant to what you want to do with it). You can possibly afford to feed more mouths or buy nicer things if you have a budget to match the dream. The larger the headcount though, the less you’ll be able to spend per head (this includes how much you spend on decor). But if you’re on a tighter budget, you should consider an elopement or minimony. You can always go all out later on in life for a vow renewal or an anniversary party when you are more established as a couple and are more financially secure. We never recommend going into debt as your first act as a married couple.
For me personally, I’m the more shy and typically quiet one in the relationship and for a long time we considered eloping, but with all the friends and family we have and how much my partner loves to party, we had to find a happy medium. We ended up having a smaller, more private ceremony with our family and closest friends and then inviting our close family and friends to the reception to have fun and party. We did collectively decide to cap our wedding at 50 people though because any more than that was too much for me to handle. We wanted to be able to spend meaningful time with our guests and relax. We didn’t want to have to play host and spend all night greeting 150+ people. Every couple, family, and wedding is unique, which is why there isn’t a perfect or easy answer to help you figure out what is best, but I hope these questions help you whittle away your worries and narrow down your vision. People will be understanding that you can’t invite everyone and weddings are expensive things to throw. If they’re not understanding, then they probably never should have been considered anyway. This day is about you and your partner and what makes you happy, don’t forget that.
I hope these questions and thoughts help you make the decision for whether or not you really want to elope, have a minimony, or do the damn thing and throw a big wedding.
We offer packages from full coordination all the way to an elopement! We have options for whatever event you plan to book. Contact us here and let us be a part of your special day!